Hey {{first_name}} ,
Last week we rewrote a LinkedIn headline in five passes.
Your headline is what gets someone to click on your name. Your About section is what they read next, and it decides whether they keep reading, reach out, or close the tab.
Most About sections lose people in the first line.
This week I am giving you a four-paragraph template you can copy, plus a full worked example. By the end of this issue, you should be able to write a first draft in twenty minutes.
Let's get into it.
The About Section I See Most Often
Results-driven marketing professional with 10+ years of experience across B2B and B2C. Proven track record of delivering impactful campaigns. Passionate about innovation, collaboration and driving growth. Strong communicator and team player.
It is written in the third person, for a recruiter's checklist, using words every other profile uses. It tells the reader nothing they could not have guessed from the job title.
And it wastes the most valuable space on the page. On LinkedIn, only the first few lines of your About section show before the "see more" link. If those lines are "results-driven professional with a proven track record," almost nobody clicks to read the rest.
The Four-Paragraph Template
Paragraph 1: The problem you solve.
This is the part people see before "see more," so it has to earn the click. Name the people you help and the problem they have.
Most [the people you help] struggle with [the problem]. I help them [the result].
Paragraph 2: How you think about it.
Your point of view. The belief that shapes how you work. This is what makes you different from everyone else with the same job title.
I believe [what you believe about your field]. That is why I [how you work].
Paragraph 3: The proof.
Two or three specific results. Numbers, scale, names where you are allowed to use them. Bullet points work well here because people skim.
Paragraph 4: The invitation.
Tell people what to contact you about and how. Most About sections end with nothing, so the reader does nothing.
If you are working on [the thing you want to be contacted about], send me a message.
The Worked Example
Here is the same marketer from last week's headline issue: "B2B launch marketing that turns into pipeline | 12 launches across 3 continents | Marketing Manager at Acme."
Their About section, using the template:
Most B2B tech launches get plenty of attention and very little pipeline. I help B2B tech companies build launches that sales teams can actually sell from.
I believe the launch announcement is the easy part. The real work happens in the eight weeks after, when sales needs the stories, the proof and the follow-up to turn interest into real conversations. That is where I spend most of my time.
Over the last ten years I have:
• Led 12 product launches across 3 continents
• Built a launch playbook now used by sales teams in Europe and Asia
• Brought product, sales and leadership teams together around one story before launch day
Right now I lead launch marketing at Acme for our data platform.
If you are planning a launch and want it to show up in your pipeline, not just your press coverage, send me a message. I am always happy to compare notes.
Under 150 words. First person. Every paragraph has one job. And a stranger knows exactly when to think of this person.
Five Rules While You Write
Write in the first person. Third person reads like a press release. You are talking to someone, so talk to them.
Keep paragraphs to two or three lines. Most people read LinkedIn on their phone. Walls of text get skipped.
Use the words people search for. If you want to be found for "launch marketing" or "employer branding," those words should appear naturally in your About section.
Delete every word that could describe anyone. Results-driven. Passionate. Team player. Proven track record. If a thousand other profiles could say it, it is not helping yours.
End with an ask. One clear reason to get in touch beats a polite sign-off every time.
Bonus: Your Featured Section in Three Slots
Week 3 of the 12-week plan is your Featured section, so here is the quick version. Pick three things:
One that shows how you think. Your best post, article or talk.
One that proves you can do the work. A case study, a result, a project people can see.
One that makes it easy to take the next step. A newsletter, a booking link, a portfolio, or a way to contact you.
Headline, About, Featured. That is your whole shop window, done in three weeks.
The Read-Aloud Test
When your draft is done, read it out loud.
If you would never say those sentences to someone you just met at an event, rewrite them until you would. Your About section should sound like you on a good day, not like your performance review.
Your Turn
Hit reply and send me the first two lines of your About section. Those are the lines that decide whether anyone reads the rest, and I would like to see what you come up with.
Want to see how your whole profile reads to a stranger? Check your Brand Score at SocialJJ.com.
Catching up? Here is the 12-week plan and last week's headline fix.
Your About section is not where you list everything you have done.
It is where a stranger decides whether to start a conversation with you.
Give them a reason, and then tell them how.
Until next time,
Jerry
If this helped you rewrite your About section, forward it to someone whose profile still opens with "results-driven professional." And if someone sent this your way, subscribe here: https://socialjj.com/newsletter