Hey {{first_name}} ,
Last week I shared a 12-week plan to end the year with momentum. The first task was to fix your shop window, starting with your headline.
It looks like the smallest task on the list. It is also the easiest one to get wrong. So this week, we are doing it together.
Your headline is the most-read line you will ever write. It sits under your name on every post, every comment, every search result, and every connection request. Most people see it before they see anything else about you. Many people only ever see that.
And most headlines are wasting it.
Let's get into it.
The Headline I See Most Often
Here is a version of a headline I see constantly. The details change. The shape does not.
Marketing Manager at Acme Corp | MBA | Passionate About Growth, Innovation & Storytelling | Ex-Globex
There is nothing wrong with any single piece of it. The problem is that a stranger finishes reading it and still does not know who this person helps, what they are good at, or why they should click.
Let's fix it in five passes.
Pass 1: Cut What Does Not Help a Stranger
Read every word and ask: would someone who has never met me care about this?
"Passionate about growth, innovation and storytelling" describes almost every marketer alive. "MBA" matters for some roles and almost none of the people scrolling past. "Ex-Globex" only helps if your audience knows and respects Globex.
Marketing Manager | Growth
Shorter. Emptier. That is fine. Now there is room to build.
Pass 2: Name Who You Help
A headline that speaks to everyone gets ignored by everyone. Pick the people you most want to notice you.
Marketing for B2B tech companies
Pass 3: Name the Result, Not the Activity
"Marketing" is an activity. Nobody buys activity. They buy what it produces.
I help B2B tech companies turn product launches into pipeline
Now a reader knows exactly what problem this person solves. That is the moment a headline starts doing work.
Pass 4: Add One Piece of Proof
One. Not a list of credentials. Just enough to make the claim believable.
I help B2B tech companies turn product launches into pipeline | 12 launches across 3 continents
Pass 5: Front-Load It, and Put the Title Back
In most places your headline appears, only the beginning is visible before it gets cut off. So the most important words go first.
And here is the part most headline advice gets wrong: keep your job title. Recruiters and hiring managers search by title. Deleting it makes you harder to find. Just stop leading with it.
B2B launch marketing that turns into pipeline | 12 launches across 3 continents | Marketing Manager at Acme
Same person. Same experience. A completely different first impression.
The Formula
What you do for whom + the result it creates + one proof point + your title.
That is it. You can reorder it and trim it, but if one of those four pieces is missing, your headline is probably leaving something on the table.
Three Versions for Three Situations
Senior and not looking. "Building B2B brands that sales teams actually use | Writing about marketing leadership | Marketing Director at Acme." Lead with your point of view, so the right people find you before you need them.
Returning after a break. "Content strategist turning expert knowledge into content people read | 10 years in professional services | Open to senior roles." Lead with what you do, not the gap.
Founder or creator. "I help consultants win clients from LinkedIn without posting every day | Founder, Acme Studio." Lead with the outcome your customer wants.
The 30-Second Test
When you have a new version, send it to one person who does not work with you and ask a single question: "Who would you send to me after reading this?"
If they can answer specifically, the headline works. If they say "people who need marketing," go back to Pass 2.
Your Turn
Hit reply and send me your headline. Before and after, if you have both.
I will pick a few (names removed) and rewrite them in a future issue, so everyone can learn from real examples instead of made-up ones like Acme.
And if you want to see how the rest of your profile reads to a stranger, check your Brand Score at SocialJJ.com. If you took it last week, keep that screenshot. You will want it in January.
Missed last week's issue? Here is the full 12-week plan.
Your headline is not a summary of your career.
It is the reason someone decides to learn more about it.
Write it for the stranger, not for your old manager.
Until next time,
Jerry
If this helped you rewrite your headline, forward it to someone whose headline still starts with their job title. And if someone sent this your way, subscribe here: https://socialjj.com/newsletter